Services

Simandy Farting Service

Our Services

Services

Benefit from our global farting services

Standard Flatulation

 

You'll get a quality farting of an item or a furniture of your choosing performed by one of our certified flatulators.

 

If the flatulation isn't to the customers satisfaction, there's a guarantee that means one of our flatulators will flatulate into the furniture until the customers demands is met.

 

 

Leather Flatulation

 

This is the best option for the ones who owns leather sofas, like a Chesterfield.

 

For this kind of material it's important that the flatulation is wet and have a smoky and a more powerful aroma.

Flatulation Deluxe

 

This luxurious alternative is most suitable for the one who wish to fartimpregnate the entire residence. We seal off all windows, doors and any cracks and then proceed to release high pressure farts into the entire living area.

 

Note that the farting guarantee is included in this option.

Flatulation Junior

 

This is a milder option adapted for the children's room. Since the childrens sense of smell is not fully developed, therefore, a farting of a lower caliber is required.

 

We have a female certified flatulator that can guarantee a milder fart with a strong sence of a mothers loving touch.

Vegan Flatulation

 

This organic alternative is most suited for the one who cares about the environment, health and rejects the notion that animals are goods one can own.

 

We guarantee that the vegan flatulation is of very high quality since we have experts in this particular field.

 

Note that this option is not suitable for materials like leather and fur.

Profit Through Flatulation

 

Would you like to increase the profit in your business?

 

We conducted a Fartability Study at a major company's resting room by flatulating into the furnitures.

 

They could proudly present that their productivity increased by 46% after our visit.

We can help you

 

We are incredible flexible and we can customize the farting experience to the customers satisfaction and expectation. Our professional flatulators have many years of experience and can guarantee a well flatulated furniture.

WHAT OUR CLIENTS SAY

# Lisa Jackson, Glasgow

 

I'll never forget when my husband came home with a new sofa, he was so proud and said he had done a good deal. The couch was nice and so, but the feeling of panic that rinsed over me when he removed the protective plastic and I felt the horrible fresh unfarted smell, I knew I needed professional help, so I contacted Simandy and they booked us in at a meeting immediately. After just a day, the couch was professionally flatulated and returned, now I can put myself down and feel the ingrained farts pop up from the sofa.

 

 

After moving from Fartwell to Back Passage in September, I was in urgent need of flatulation of my new furniture. A short phone call later, staff was in place and could begin the farting. After just two hours, the new IKEA smell was blown away from both the kitchen table, the spice rack and the sofa, and instead replaced with a homely aroma with hints of eggs and caviar. Just as ordered. In the future, I will only use Simandy's services, and I strongly recommend trying out their comprehensive bedroomfarting that comes on purchase when ordering flatulations for more than three furnitures. Thank you Simandy.

# John McCullough, Back Passage, London

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